Guest speaker Ilan Goldberg impressed listeners at the Wellington (NZ) Animal Rights March on 28th November with his original poem, an abridged version we reprint here.  

Ilan talks about the hypocrisies of a small and beautiful land that punches above its weight in many ways, and cares about some animals, yet turns a blind eye to the sufferings of animals raised for food.

‘For Megan the Brave, and her
fellow teen-aged heroes’.

 

Blessed, this fair land of ours

Kissed by cloud, wind and sea

100 per cent pure beauty

God’s own for you and me

We count our stars now daily

So lucky here to be

Here we prance so gayly

From foreign lands we flee

 

 

We’re pioneers, this side of Earth

Care and fairness we admire

To nuclear physics we gave birth

Then fixed it with eight wire

We care for sick and wounded

Thank you ACC

‘Woke’ to slang we added

We’re slightly less racey

We also care for our dumb beasts

For in victory we’re gracious

But rights for them will ruin feasts

Please vegans, don’t be precious

 

Eating them is natural

As natural as Ebola

Circle of life means all is fine

Geometry is moral

Killing is normal just right now

Majorities are never wrong

To add to death we must avow

Kill, and you’ll belong

 

And don’t forget, they want to die

To feed us is their purpose

We breed them so; it’s not a lie

For us, their life is surplus

 

And anyway, their life is joy

So good we’ve put up fences

Humane death does not annoy

We’ve taken all their senses

Or so at least I’ve heard it said

Meat experts never lie

I’ve never looked at how they’re bled

I couldn’t bear to cry

 

Don’t get me wrong, I’m tough as nails

As manly as my meat

I’m so strong I could eat whales

Cows cower at my feet

 

Without my bacon I will squeal

But otherwise I’m daring

Even Achilles had his heal

And mine it seems is caring

 

But I do care about you folks

I’m killing them to save you all

If I don’t, that’s not a hoax

They’ll rise up and we will fall

Our mother’s milk, cows will drink

Pigs will smoke us tender

Chicks will then their role rethink

And mash us in a blender

 

 

Now if you think I’m slightly mad

Consider this hard proof

Without a living we’d be had

Economy is truth

 

It is good for purchase price

To cut parts off with a device

To keep a mum from baby

To kill a world for gravy

 

Our law is also not untrue

Best welfare law; that’s lucky

The best among a choice of poo

Will still end up quite funky

 

Our welfare law is not for them

They wouldn’t write such evil phlegm

It was written by rich white men

Between their fangs were parts of hen

 

So full of holes, so unenforced

Its toothless gums from good divorced

What it allows should make us see

Its purpose is to set harm free

 

Welfare experts, aren’t they great

If they approve, why hesitate

They say the harm’s our fantasy

Or else the best we’ll ever see

 

To cheat the science for money’s sake

Tobacco taught to any snake

Their welfare expert is pure bull

Welfare committees are a stool

 

Ignore as well our heart disease

Our colon cancer’s high

Diabetes is a breeze

The superbugs, Just fry

 

And plants will suffer if you feed

Prick a plant; does it not bleed?

All ye stoners; replant that weed

All fashionistas; drop that thneed

 

Animals; their mind’s a joke

Only people are so woke

For there is nothing it is like

 

To be a cow tied in the rack

Or a layer that’s pecked raw

To be a sow locked in a crack

Or a fish that’s crushed like straw

 

 

To be a prawn, eyestalks ablated

Or a broiler, limbs ill-fated

A new-born calf when separated

Or a piglet when castrated

 

 

All these harms do not exist

By God I swear to love them

And on this point I must insist

Like my own kids I love them

 

Like my own kids I lock, I tie

And let them live in faeces

I feed them drugs or else they’ll die

Then chop them into pieces

 

Inseminate with mutant DNA

To fill my golden pot

They don’t need to walk each day

They’re free to range right on the spot

But I’ve a right to choose to kill

O liberty: you’re such a thrill

Their liberty? No don’t be daft

Use your brain, you vegan shaft

We’re no monsters; too civilised

We delegate; don’t criticize

The killing’s done far far away

Hidden from us who choose to pay

 

,

Thank heavens then, that we’ve a brain

So big it gives us moral reign

By that I mean to kill in vain

As many killed as drops of rain

Pray tell, could this get any madder

Could our brains just make us badder

We are gods, and they are nothing

Perhaps its sentience we’re lacking

 

But even God said meat is ours

It’s not just my opinion

In love he gave us special powers

Just don’t look up ‘dominion’

 

 

Does God so clearly love his meat

His gift for us to kill and eat?

Without a spleen, God is like Megan

If He can’t eat, He’s just as vegan

 

Oh yes my friends, our nation’s great

A land of plenty fills our plate

But there is something we forget

We’re not Kiwis; not just yet

 

We can teach ourselves some morals

We can evolve from flesh to florals

Thou shalt not kill; our books do say

A right to life; to love; to play

 

 

Ilan Goldberg reading his poem at the Wellington Animal Rights March

Fellow marchers;

You’ve seen the light

You’ve heard their scream

You’ve felt their fright

You are their dream

 

Our mission vast; but we will cope

Fight to the last. We’ll never drop

We are heroes. We are hope

Hear us O world: WE WILL NOT STOP!

 

More than 500 people walked through the streets of Wellington on Saturday November 28th to demand justice for New Zealand animals.

 

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